Who is he?
Bio (basically the same, just more personal detail)
How can he benefit me as a financial advisor?
What is his
perspective on investing? Investment
portfolios (.pdf format - Adobe Acrobat necessary to read) How we are swimming in
a sinking US dollar. What articles has he published on
management? Investigating
problems in the workplace (.pdf format) Mentoring,
correcting, and disciplining employees An inside look
at a peer evaluation system Examples of Websites created,
maintained, and promoted:
Casa Biblica: #4 Italian
bookstore in its market segment
Romania's #1 site about HIV
(Logo by LJ LaBrie)
Global Assistance for Medical Equipment, Kosovo (Logo by LJ LaBrie)
Romania's #3 site in its market
segment (Logo by LJ LaBrie)
Barack Hussein Obama's first day in the White House as President of the United States of America
19 January 2009
Obama: Good morning everyone. Well, boys and girls, we did it! Things are really changing. Can you see it?
Advisors: Yes!
Obama: Can you FEEL it?
Advisors: Yes!!
Obama: Can you SMELLLLLLLLLLLLL it? Times sure are changin'?
Advisor 1: Sir, sorry to interrupt one of your outstanding motivational speeches. Can I ask you something?
Obama: Sure, boy, what's on your mind?
Advisor 1: If we are supposed to be a bunch of outsiders, like we promised the voters, why did all of us work in previous administrations?
Obama: Good question. I'm all about change and I want all of these meetings an open forum of ideas. I don't have all the answers. Heck, unless we are discussing community organization, I won't have ANY answers. The voters were tired of people with any experience or knowledge. That's why they voted for change. So, can anyone answer his question?
Campaign advisor: We told the voters that we wanted to reduce the budget, a change from the excesses of the evil Bush years. So, we don't have to take new portraits of everyone again. See all the money we are saving? We are saving the landfills and reducing carbon emissions. See all those pictures under Bill Clinton's face on that wall over there? Just reorganize them to correspond with their new titles and put them on this wall over here.
Obama: see? That's what we promised the voters, to reorganize Washington and to reduce waste. We are cleaning up Washington. Our people have been cleaning up messes for generations. Who does it best, the rich man or the poor man? That is why we have you poor college students as advisors, to be my outsiders and straighten things up around here. A lot of things have changed. I am on the other side of Pennsylvania Avenue. Isn't that enough change for you?
Advisor 1: Yes, sir.
Obama: This is a place of change. I want everyone to feel free to critique me, to prod me, to hold me accountablllllllllllle, not like the previous administration.
Advisor 2: Sir, the media and the left wing were constantly questioning and putting road blocks up around what Bush was doing. Who has criticized you in the year since you announced your candidacy? *
Obama: I'm all about change. He tried to limit the vast amounts of criticism he got. I'm trying to find someone, ANYONE, JUST ONE RACIST MOTHA... (Sorry.) I am trying to find someone with the courage to at least rebuke my claim to be the savior of the nation. Isn't that enough change for you, boy?
Advisor 2: Yes, sir.
Staffing Advisor: Sir, you need to look for a new Treasury Secretary.
Obama: Why?
Staffing Advisor: Well, you remember how you said that a person has about as much chance of being struck by lightning as being prosecuted for hiring an illegal alien?** Well as soon as the Democratic Congress let him off the hook for not paying $34,000 in taxes from 2001-2004 an having hired an illegal alien,*** he walked out the door and got struck by lightning.
Advisor 1: What happened to the Republican control of Congress?
Other Advisors: Yeah!****
Campaign Advisor: The Democrats have controlled Congress since 2007.
Advisor 1: So why couldn't we pass bills of change back then?
Pastor Jeremiah Wright: Now you are sounding lak the wat man who has been oppressing our people, inventing AIDS ta keel us, and trying to tie us down. Just because Obama is a brotha, do you think he is stupid? This man was the ONLY candidate to be called a "nigga". He is much more capable dan anyone to be da most powerful man in da world. He just wanted to save up his powah until da rat moment.*****
Obama: Amen, pastah. So, what do you think? Is that enough change for our first day?
Clinton: yeah, I'm tired. I never had to work before, I used to delegate the real work to Bill. But, there is one little thing you may want to think about that Russia announced the day you got elected. They are moving missiles towards Europe. #
Obama: Russia, I have heard of it. What state is that in?
Clinton: I am talking about the country, Russia.
Obama: Yeah, right, I knew that. I was just testing your memory. Who is their king these days?
Clinton: They have had a President for decades. The person who calls the shots is Vladimir Putin.
Obama: I'll go visit him. He will become awed in my presence and change his ways.
Clinton: You'll need an interpreter.
Obama: Russia doesn't speak English? Who are Russia's neighbors?
Clinton: Alaska is next door.
Obama: Do you think they will give us rights to their airspace?
Clinton: Alaska is one of our fifty states.
Obama: Of course, I knew that. Wait, fifty? What happened to the other ten.^ Did that evil Bush give them to the rich when he left office?
Clinton: No, we had only 50 when I (sorry) Bill was President.
Obama: Sorry, my math must be a bit rusty.
Economic Advisor: Russia is also a major producer of oil, gas, uranium, and other resources and disrupting their production will wreck havoc on world markets.
Obama: That is convenient, we need to lower the price of oil to stimulate our economy.
Economic Advisor: Lowering the supply increases the price of something.
Obama: it looks like somebody still hasn't gotten the message. That was in the old economy. What is this administration about?
Advisors: change!
Obama: You need a lesson in Obamanomics 101. When supply declines for a given demand, the price declines.^^ Economics and ethics are two things areas where we are going to bring change to the way the government operates. We are not like Palin who abused her authority by firing the police chief or like Blagojovich selling my seat for personal gain. What do we call that?
Advisors: change!
Advisor 3:how will we explain getting your getting Imes thrown off the air, paying Hillary back for her support by making her Secretary of State, and releasing all the suspected terrorists at Guantanamo after the Muslims made your campaign the richest one in US history?
Obama: That answer is above my pay grade.^^^ Where is my moral advisor?
Pastor Jeremiah Wright: Da watman has bin oppressing us for centuries. Who can compare what our downtrodden leader done to what da supremists done?
Obama: What inspiring words! Now I know why you were my spiritual mentor for 20 years. Boy, this is the easiest job I have ever had. Anything else we need to do today? Raise taxes on the rich? Spend more tax revenues saving the golden parachutes of rich bankers? Sign welfare checks for those who don't work? ^^^^ Or, changing other things where we know nothing about? Let's do something where I am an expert--community organizing.
Clinton: When we were both running for the nomination, I always wanted to know, what is community organizing?
Obama: You highbrow people from inside the beltway don't know anything practical! Chicago, like any city revolves around the basketball court. Community organizing means playing basketball.
Personal Secretary, entering the room: Sir, the Immigration and Naturalization Service is here asking to see your birth certificate so that you can prove you are legally allowed to serve as President of the United States.^^^^^ Sir? Mr. Obama? Has anyone seen the President?
Vice President Biden: He was here but has gone to...
All (trying to keep Biden from putting his foot in his mouth again): CHANGE!!!
* Media coverage was more positive for Obama than McCain. http://articles.latimes.com/2008/oct/23/nation/na-media23 The media joked about Obama only half as much as about McCain. http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/08/obama-jokes-tv.html
**http://www.ontheissues.org/Archive/2007_Dems_Las_Vegas_Immigration.htm
***http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090114/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/treasury_nominee_analysis
****Only 41% of Obama supporters knew that Democrats controlled Congress http://www.howobamagotelected.com/
*****Hear more of Jeremiah Wright's sermons and endorsement of Obama at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAYe7MT5BxM
#The day after Obama was elected, Russia announced that it would move missiles towards Europe. Coincidence?
^Obama said he visited 57 of the 60 states in the US.
^^^When asked whether a fetus was a human life, he responded that that answer was 'above his pay grade.' Yet, it is not above his pay grade to act on that answer, as he consistently votes pro-choice.
^^^^^As of Inauguration Day, Obama has not submitted to court orders to prove he is a natural-born citizen and permitted by the Constitution to hold the office of President. http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=80931 http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/Alt/alt.politics/2008-12/msg02265.html http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=84971
Y!messenger ID:
laurent_labrie